|1-CLAIRVOIANTS



                            BY DAVE DIAMOND

                  First off...sorry for the spelling!


O.k  one  day  me  and  my  mate  were  bored  so  we  went to our local
spiritualist church (sorry for the spelling again).

We only went for a laugh and thats just what happened..at first!!

First  off  the  woman  in  charge  gave praise and asked us to pray for
certain  people  one  of  which  was  a  total bastard,he killed about 9
kittens  etc  anyway after that there was about 20 minutes of singing at
me and my mate were laughing `cause they were sooo bad,they sounded like
the rolly pollies.

So  after  that the clairvoiancy (!) began,now i`m open minded about all
paranormal  stuff  but whenever i`m with my mate and vise versa we laugh
like  there`s  no tommorow and so during the `reading` so to speak there
were  constant  giggles from us in the middle row,now the people who she
came  to said yes to the questions and `spirits` (you have to say yes or
no  after  the  reader tells you something) and we just couldn`t contain
our laughter (note my sister,mom and my moms freinds were there too) and
the  giggles  got  too much to bear and the laughing became more intense
until the reader suddenly turned to me and said `i`m coming to the blond
haired boy in the green jacket...ME!).

My  mouth  dropped  to the floor and the laughing from both of us ceased
immediatley.

After  about  5  minutes of revelations and me sitting there dumbfounded
she ended and it was my nan who was talking to me....no bull shit!!!!

As  the service ended my mom etc looked at me with the `you see - i told
you so` look and me and my mate left without a word or laugh between us.

One point she said was that the spirits could see me in the future (this
was about 1993) in front of a screen designing cars..now i wouldn`t have
wanted  a career in this but i did do exactly what she said..only it was
playing the game detroit where you design cars (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

Message  to  freak...please  dont  put  this  article  under  the `utter
bollocks` banner!


end